Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the bright and morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
I am Yours
Princess; daughter of the King
Lim Shi Ying Laura
RGS 414'10
RGSPB, Fedele!
45th GB, Levites!
IGNYTE@Adam, SEALs (Upper Sec, Sunday)
I believe in His Purpose for My Generation
The Traveler IQ challenge ranks geographic knowledge of cities such as: Minneapolis, Milwaukee or Arlington by comparing results against 5,347,778 other travelers.
testimonies
Sunday, January 31, 2010
-10:50 PM
1. Stepping into 师大 and then the NTNU Hostel lobby 2. The lift that keeps closing on people 3. Talking water cooler 4. “Dudette” “Yes?” “Not you dudette, the other dudette!” –Yingxin (who often turns delirious and forgets names at night!) 5. 地下餐厅 6. Playing bridge, hearts and taiti with awesome buddies 7. The common room with the TV, sofa and lots of space to play cards 8. Playing TOD (especially the all-nighter on 5 Dec!) 9. 师大夜市 <3 10. Food coupons 11. Bubble tea from 会上隐 （茉香奶茶） 12. Asking for toilet paper (and once, even twice in 2 days XD) 13. Teasing couples 14. Karaoke
15. Melty Kiss and Hi-Chew
16. Flipping through the dictionary (and googling) for 繁体字 17. Blue and pink room slippers 18. Water parade 19. Bed check at 9.45pm 20. Hearing Yingx Germ Selene Minghao etc. etc. swoon about DBSK 21. Prank calls 22. Worrying about overweight luggage 23. Gossiping at night with Selene and Ying Xin *tsk tsk* Okay not gossip; it’s just chitchat la. 24. 蓝组 25. Using nicknames (F4, KingKa etc...) 26. Crashing rooms 27. 淡水 28. Singing opera at night 29. Watching Selene do the limbo 30. Exercising in the cold cold night
31. Sleeping in class (and popping Vit C to stay awake) 32. Celebrating birthdays 33. 锅贴 and 水饺 34. 梁山伯与祝英台的爱情故事 35. Seeing our 班长 cross-dress (and the fake boobs) 36. The big hammer (after the balloon shooting @ Danshui!) 37. Meeting for rehearsals 38. 扯零 39. 皮雕 40. 吸管 41. 中国结 42. Watching catfights between Selene and Yingxin 43. Late-night intensive mugging (seeing people in the common room at 1am/2am!) 44. Having supper while mugging at night (Yoghurt with fruits instant oatmeal, milo, crackers, beef cup noodles!) 45. Room card-keys (which require special technique to use!) 46. Watching DBY in Taichung on Graduation Tour! 47. Squatting toilets 48. Feeling awkward in 偶像店s 49. The awesome stationery shop 50. Taking half an hour to reach the korean restaurant (thanks Selene XD) (The bimbimbab is AWESOME) 51. “我门失踪了！” 52. Spraying insect repellent everywhere (doorframe, mosquito net etc.) 53. Getting rid of the weird insectish things in our room (using a modified wire hanger!) 54. 爱情万岁 55. Receiving 1000NT, distributed by teachers, at random moments 56. Yummy bread from SunMerry Cafe 57. Arcade games 58. Using water pressure to wash the toilet 59. Sharing a tiny netbook 60. Eating strange burgers for breakfast 61. Fretting about 分班测验，默写，小考，期中考，期末考 and the end of term achievement test 62. Doing 造句 with Google 63. Chionging 习字，新诗 at night (with roomies to consult!) 64. Camwhoring 65. Watching korean movies instead of mugging at night 66. Blasting music (mainly Korean, DBSK etc.) in the room 67. The clothes bed XD 68. The cool balcony that joins 508 and 510 together! 69. Long bus rides 70. Eating in our rooms 71. Baked pasta and 肉锉面 72. Hanging wet clothes everywhere 73. Small drizzly rain 74. Umbrellas in the corridors 75. 辅导员s 76. Free 红茶 and 绿茶 in the huge pots with long ladles and plastic bags and rafia string and straws! 77. Walking down the streets like we've been there forever and rule the world
78. Freaky baroque music in the basement
79. 天灯
80. Talking about guys (we don’t mean the RI guys y’know XD) (okay except when we were complaining about their ungentlemanliness on the first day)
81. Preparing farewell parties for teachers
82. Handwashing clothes
83. Watermelon-guava-dragonfruit-kiwi-orange-pineapple-jambu-CHERRYTOMATO D: fruit boxes twice a day
84. Selene and her expenditure reports and earring shopping!
85. Yingxin and her “Changmin! Changmin! Junsuuuuuuu!”
86. “I think Jaejoong is ugly” –Laura (just to spite Minghao) “IOGJARJIOSJFOISJOISJMCOKMX! *strangles*” –Minghao
87. G5 and Janfusun Fancyworld (and the puke basins)
88. Cheese croquette from the Japanese restaurant
89. Mopping the room floor
90. Singing in the room with Yingx (and influencing Selene to eventually start singing in the shower!)
91. Kahmo (not-very-yummy) spaghetti
92. Playing pingpong at Hibiscus Hotel
93. Attempting to play pool on the 11th floor (with Addy’s instruction) (hint: keyword “attempting”)
94. Feeling good when we replied in Chinese to people who spoke to us in English. (And being able to speak Taiwanese too!)
95. Disposable underwear
96. Wearing my luggage key on my wrist and a ladybug whistle around my neck nearly all the time (I can’t believe I nearly forgot that)
97. Opening and closing my yellow luggage bag many many times a day (to put valuables and all)
98. 古亭站！
99. 西门丁！
100. Our awesome day at 中正纪念堂 watching 宝岛一村 and being really high at the Chiang Kai-Shek memorial hall. The view from up there was stunning! It’s like dark, with the pretty pretty lights!
Okay admittedly these are barely representative. I’ve wrecked my brain a fair bit and this is what I’ve got so far. I tried to squeeze some points together to make space, actually. But this list is really just a snippet of everything. I don’t know why, but I just miss those 4 weeks so much! Maybe it’s the weather, or the freedom to do anything you want, or the company. Probably the combination of everything. If I had the opportunity to go again there are some things I’d do differently though. For one, I wouldn’t go with the misconception that 1 month is very long. And I would spend more money (it’s worth it man)! I think the most saddening thing is that it’s highly unlikely I’ll get to stay in a hostel with such lovely people and do such lovely things in a lovely place for one whole month again. At least, not in the next 2 years.
Why the sudden Taiwan fever again? Maybe because ever since I returned things have been so tough and there’s been so much to worry about. Over there, not much, other than exams and homework. Which are inconsequential at the end of the day, anyway. In other words, the 1 month was like, time off from the harsh realities of life. Another reason why the Taiwan fever. MINGDAO HIGH SCHOOL IS COMING TO RGS! :D :D :D Hopefully my buddy’s coming :D
Saturday, January 30, 2010
-8:51 PM
I will never run out of things to thank God for. This is my conclusion. Was talking to Anders and I realised that recently, though situations have barely changed for the better (possibly even for the worse), that my outlook has changed drastically. I’m no longer pulling a long face and sighing every where I go; in a sense my behaviour and mood have reverted more or less to normal, I think.
Thank God for that la. I wanna spend TAWG and plan cell, but I’m teaching Xinkai math now. Hmm… Haha a bit more and I’ll go off!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
-11:58 PM
English AA I love you!
Okay maybe not. Because of my BELOVED, I haven’t done my other homework. 私函！Math Assignment! Goodness me… And I havent’ spent TAWG for a couple of days.
Well, work is a good distraction though, from all the things going on. I’m so, so glad there’s SP empowerment tomorrow night! :D
Okay I’ve got to chiong english now. Good thing I sneaked a teaspoon of coffee into my milo so now I’m bright cheery and awake. Coffee is scary. It’s like drugs.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
-8:31 PM
This whole experience has really taught me a whole lot about thanksgiving. And today is a day I wanna give thanks for. It’s nothing big or “eventful”, but precisely because it was relatively uneventful.
Thank God for a better day :D
Reminder to self: find something like a lollipop or a bar of chocolate for Chu Lee Voon and Han Jun! Or a pack of gummies or something! Birthday! Don’t forget! Oh and something to appreciate Joanna for writing minutes (and typing them in) for department meeting today! I must learn to be more people-centred. It’s not so easy okay!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
-10:14 PM
Psalms 13 is a Psalm that has touched my heart.
Psalm 13
For the director of music. A psalm of David.
1 How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?
3 Look on me and answer, O LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
4 my enemy will say, "I have overcome him," and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
5 But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6 I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.
Deciding to read Psalms (which was a change of plan from Isaiah) was, I believe, a God-led decision. The last time I tried to read it I kept falling asleep. Unbelievable. Psalms is so, so beautiful. I love the book of Psalms(:
As usual, plenty of things on my mind. BIG HUGE GARGANTUAN ones, manageably small ones, puny ones. But it’s okay. I know that no matter how BIG HUGE GARGANTUAN these things get, my God is BIGGER HUGER AND GARGANTUAN-ER! No actually He’s the BIGGEST HUGGEST AND GARGANTUAN-EST! :D
Yeah :DD Gonna keep up my spirits and press on and believe.
Monday, January 25, 2010
-8:42 PM
When will I ever stop having “such days”, I ask myself. Since last week it’s been so hard to get by. Yet everyday is a day the Lord has made, and we should rejoice and be glad in it :D
But this is also exactly what it means to count the cost, to pay the price, to carry the cross. These are often lines we sing in songs, sometimes meaninglessly.
And to be honest, sometimes when I sing these songs I do wonder what the cost will be for me. And then something I treasure pops up in my head, and I think, “If that is what it takes, what will I do? Will I give up Jesus?” But many a time such thoughts are too difficult to entertain, and the easier option is to simply chuck them aside.
It’s only during times like these when I stop to think, and do some soul-searching. I’ve thought long and hard about it. I thought, “If giving up Jesus will change my situation completely, would I?”
I know from the bottom of my heart that I will not.
From 3 big things and 1 frivolous thing on my mind, it has both downsized and upsized to 2 very big and bothering things. One extremely big and bothering (and bigger and more bothering than it was before) and another significantly less, but still very bothering in the current context (since I deal with this on top of the very big and bothering thing around).
And I can’t go around telling all these things.
And even if I do, the people I CAN tell can’t do anything. But pray, that is. As in, the smaller problem is not that hard to resolve if I could just approach and explain my situation and perhaps consider making a particular decision (which would require plenty of consideration too). But I can’t! I don’t want to explain the situation. I really really don’t know. It’s very blurry and all, but that’s also kinda, the point.
Here’s a verse Johann shared on Sunday that’s kept me going:
1 Corinthians 1:25
25For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength.
And I was just talking to God and telling Him how difficult I was finding things and this verse just rang in my mind.
There’s this song that’s kept me going too, on more than one occasion.
Voice of Truth(by Casting Crowns)
Oh,what I would do to have the kind of faith it takes To climb out of this boat I'm in Onto the crashing waves To step out of my comfort zone Into the realm of the unknown Where Jesus is, And he's holding out his hand But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed The waves they keep on telling me time and time again "Boy, you'll never win, you'll never win." But the Voice of truth tells me a different story the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!" and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory" Out of all the voices calling out to me I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth Oh, what I would do to have the kind of strength it takes To stand before a giant with just a sling and a stone Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors shaking in their armor Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed The giant keeps on telling me time and time again "Boy you'll never win, you'll never win." But the voice of truth tells me a different story the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!" and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory" Out of all the voices calling out to me I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth But the stone was just the right size to put the giant on the ground and the waves they don't seem so high from on top of them looking down I will soar with the wings of eagles when I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus singing over me But the Voice of truth tells me a different story The Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!" And the Voice of truth says "this is for my glory" Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me) I will choose to listen and believe (I will choose to listen and believe) I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth I will listen and believe I will listen and believe the Voice of truth I will listen and believe 'Cause Jesus you are the Voice of truth And I will listen to you.. oh you are the Voice of truth
And I will listen and believe the voice of truth, to know that “this is for My glory”, and not to be afraid.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
-8:41 PM
My mum’s sick D: Please keep her in your prayers.
-7:18 PM
I miss Taiwan. It’s been nearly 2 months since we returned, and I miss it nearly as much as I did when I just returned.
But anyway, now’s not the time to be thinking about frivolous things like this.
-5:19 PM
Oink oink, I am a pig.
I slept at 11pm the night before, woke up at 10am on Saturday morning. And then I slept at 11.30pm yesterday (okay maybe 12am) and woke up at 7am. And I was looking forward to sit down for a productive 3-4 hours of work this afternoon after returning for church, and guess what I did? Haha, I did about… 30-45min of english AA email discussion. And then after sending out 2 very very lengthy emails I glanced at my bed.
No prizes for guessing what happened next.
And yes I’m still tired *snores* but if I sleep any more, uhh, I’m going die. My work! D:
Urgh. Urgh. Urgh.
I need to spend TAWG too. Didn’t spend TAWG yesterday. Nowadays everyday is eventful. A less eventful day is a day of even more thanksgiving. But it also causes complacency. Must press on, and continue to intercede.
*snores*
Aiyo Laura…
Saturday, January 23, 2010
-1:15 PM
Okay, probably not. (In response to yesterday!)
I’ve been trying to get my mind off these huge horrible things and think about the more frivolous things on my mind. Doesn’t work either XD
Friday, January 22, 2010
-10:18 PM
Was there breakthrough? I wonder.
-5:13 PM
Finally, it rained again. From my eyes, I mean. This week has been such a week, I was wondering how I could go through without tearing a single drop.
It feels good, but at the same time, I can’t explain the feeling. It’s utter despair, and at the same time, the knowledge that the Lord is with me. I asked myself, “Laura why are you crying?” And I concluded that I had been touched by the love of God.
I shall not attempt to describe today’s events here. It is impossible to do so here. *runs to private blog*. But that’s not what I want to share. I am here to share about my worship today, which was absolutely AMAZING.
We have overcome
Thanks be to God Who always causes us to triumph in His name Thanks be to God Who always causes us to win, yeah Thanks be to God Who always causes us to triumph in His name Thanks be to God Thanks be to God We have overcome Hallelujah, hallelujah We have overcome By the power of your name Jesus you’re the one Hallelujah, hallelujah The one who made a way For us to triumph in His name Oh, oh, Oh, oh We got the victory Everything will be alright, alright We got the victory Everything will be alright ‘Cause we’re on the wining side
How could I live without you
How could I live without You How could I survive Without Your love Without Your touch You’re the One that heals me And cleanses my heart And sets me free
Now i come right before You With my hands lifted up With my heart humbly bowed At Your work on the cross As You hang there and die You were paying the price For my life, For my life
For Your love is higher than the heavens Deeper than the seas And all I want is You in my life No one else can satisfy my soul Can make me feel this way Only You Lord, only You
Here in my life
I have never walked on water Felt the waves beneath my feet but At your Word Lord, I’ll receive Your Faith to walk on oceans deep And I remember how You found me: In that very same place All my failing surely would've drowned me But You made a way You are my freedom Jesus you’re the reason I’m kneeling again at Your throne Where would I be without You Here in my life, here in my life? You have said that all the heavens Sing for joy at one who finds The way to freedom, truth of Jesus Bought from death into His life And I remember how You saw me: Through the eyes of Your grace And though the cost was Your beloved for me Still you made a way!
I want to let Jesus love me
I want to let Jesus love me
Put His arms around me
Touch my arms so I can see
That I am beautiful
I want to let Jesus love me
Put His arms around me
Lift me high so I can see
The beauty of the Lord
Faithful God
I serve a God who is faithful, and He will never fail When i’m in the desert He’s a river of hope
I serve a God who is faithful, His faithfulness prevails Lord I Put my trust in You
Chorus: I serve a God, who is faithful and true I will hide, in the shelter of Your wings For i find my rest in Your faithfulness Yes i serve a faithful God
Can’t let go
God Your unfailing love Holds me by the hand It never lets go of me No matter how far I’ve ran God You knew my name Before I came to be And you long for me Just to stay in Your arms So I want to sing Ohh It’s Your love that I’m holding on to It’s Your face, that I look upon It’s Your strength, that I can lean on I won’t let go of You In my trials, I will praise You In my fears it’s you I will run to I will sing of how You have loved me Lord I can’t let go of You
I could sing of your love forever
Over the mountains and the sea, Your river runs with love for me, and I will open up my heart and let the Healer set me free. I'm happy to be in the truth, and I will daily lift my hands: for I will always sing of when Your love came down. [Yeah!] I could sing of Your love forever, I could sing of Your love forever, I could sing of Your love forever, I could sing of Your love forever. [Repeat] Oh, I feel like dancing - it's foolishness I know; but, when the world has seen the light, they will dance with joy, like we're dancing now.
Complete
Here I am, Oh God I bring this sacrifice--my open heart. I offer up my life I look to You, Lord Your love that never ends Restores me again
So I lift my eyes to you, Lord In Your strength will I break through, Lord Touch me now, let your love fall down on me And I will be complete in You.
So I lift my eyes to you Lord And by faith, I will walk on, Lord Then I'll see beyond my calvary one day, And I will be complete in You
So I lift my eyes to you Lord In your strength will I break through Lord Touch me now, let your love fall down on me I know your love dispels all my fears.
Through the storm I will hold on Lord And I pray I will hold on, Lord Then I'll see beyond my calvary one day And I will be complete in You
Consuming Fire
There must be more than this, O breath of God come breathe within, There must be more than this, Spirit of God we wait for You. Fill us anew we pray, Fill us anew we pray.
Consuming fire fan into flame, A passion for Your Name, Spirit of God fall in this place, Lord have Your way, Lord have Your way with us,
Come like a rushing wind, Clothe us with power from on high, Now set the captives free, Leave us abandoned to Your praise. Lord let Your glory fall, Lord let Your glory fall.
Stir it up in our hearts Lord, Stir it up in our hearts Lord, Stir it up in our hearts Lord, A passion for Your Name.
Yours is the kingdom
Yours is the Kingdom And the power And the glory forever is Yours Heaven and earth bow down In the wonder of Your Name Heaven is open Death is broken And the glory forever is Yours Nothing can overcome The power of Your Name King above kings All the universe will sing Everlasting God You are wonderful You are wonderful And the shout of the earth Will be Your praise God forever And the light unto all Will be Your wonderful Name For the glory Lord is Yours God forever All the glory Lord is Yours
Counting on God (in some other post)
Desert Song (in some other post)
Can’t Let Go
God Your unfailing love Holds me by the hand You never let go of me No matter how far I've ran God You knew my name Before I came to be And You long for me Just to stay in Your arms So I want to sing Ohh It's Your love I'm holding onto It's Your face that I look upon It's Your strength that I can lean on I won't let go of you In my trials I will praise you In my fears it's you I will run to I will sing of how You have loved me Lord I can't let go of You Jesus you gave your life As ransom for my sins You willingly paid the price Of shame and suffering Now Christ has set me free I know where I will be Standing in Your courts Lifting up my hands Praising with this song Ohh
Hossanna
I see the king of glory Coming on the clouds with fire The whole earth shakes The whole earth shakes Yeeeah I see his love and mercy Washing over all our sin The people sing The people sing [Chorus] Hosanna Hosanna Hosanna in the highest [x2] I see a generation Rising up to take their place With selfless faith With selfless faith I see a near revival Stirring as we pray and seek We're on our knees We're on our knees [Chorus] Heal my heart and make it clean Open up my eyes to the things unseen Show me how to love like you have loved me Break my heart from what breaks yours Everything I am for your kingdoms cause As I go from nothing to Eternity [Chorus x2] Hosanna in the highest
I know this worship was REALLY LONG, but I enjoyed every moment of it. So much I had to write about it and try to recall the songs I sang. There might have been one or two more though… (: I didn’t plan anything; I just flowed as usual, and each time the Lord placed a new song in my head, songs that spoke to me in new and amazing ways, songs that spoke of different aspects of God. This season has been trying, really trying, but I must admit that I’ve enjoyed spending so much quality time with God, which honestly speaking, during the good times I would probably not be willing to part with at all. I’ve also enjoyed the ministry that I’ve been doing. Talking, praying, knowing that God is with me, empowering me and flowing as the spirit leads. It’s all so amazing. It’s like, saying things you never knew you knew.
When I started worshipping today, I was just so stressed, and I was filled with such… A heart for everyone/everything going on. Basically I felt very burdened. I could feel my heart sink today. Like *plonk*. And as it has been lately, I was reluctant to deal with things. I just hoped to get by and hide and avoid trouble. But I thank God that I did not refuse anyone of ministry. That my spirit was still available to serve, though my flesh was weak, and in the end I still went.
Yeahh my flesh IS weak. But my God is strong(: Really need God’s empowerment tie me through. This is really taxing stuff. Not that I wasn’t prepped before anything actually happened that this was to be year of moulding and trial XD
Thursday, January 21, 2010
-8:23 PM
This has really been one kind of week. There are easily 4 big things on my mind. 3 pretty serious ones, and then 1 slightly frivolous one I feel guilty even thinking about it. It’s nothing wrong, just that with all these serious things to deal with I shouldn’t be thinking about other stuff for now.
And I started the week with 1 very worrying thing on my mind, and thinking it was really stressful.
Haha. Well still goes to show that there’s so much we can give thanks for. Shall keep my spirits high. Didn’t spend TAWG yesterday. Shall read the word and pray today. Worship… Well… Honestly speaking, not in the mood. Bad bad bad. :X Okay maybe I shall try to worship.
ARGH. I’m going kuku! I was singing Bob the Builder, Hi-5, Carebears, Powerpuff Girls, Barney and other songs from cartoons today. Ask Dionne XD
“I press on towards the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” – Philippians 3:14
Many people have told me I look stressed/gloomy/glum/moody etc. etc. lately. Yet I can’t tell them the one thing that’s been bugging me most. I feel kinda bad, but… No, I really can’t.
The joy of the Lord is my strength! :D GO LAURA! *grins cheesily*
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
-11:08 PM
Life is fragile. Life is delicate. Life is the crystal champagne glass perched precariously at a corner, atop a towering skyscraper. Yet so many of us never learn to give thanks for the much we have been given; and yet so many of us never learn to treasure life at its fullest.
Here’s to all who have been living examples of the vibrancy of life to us during our encounters, however ephemeral, however fleeting. For it is indeed the dash that matters most between all those years.
We have truly, truly been blessed.
In memory.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
-10:22 PM
I’ve been thinking about something else lately, other than the stuff I’ve been yabbering about all this while. I’ve read up a bit too! Well, we’ll see how it goes :D Hopefully, hopefully.
-8:11 PM
I was doing some research online about a particular topic, and I found something I… didn’t really want to find. I don’t quite know how to handle my newly acquired knowledge. It’s good and bad la. Good because otherwise I wouldn’t have known. Bad because I don’t know what to do with it, and because I might be wrong (which is actually a good thing, I guess).
-5:50 PM
Today is one of those peanut butter days. One of those days where the atmosphere is peanut butter. Serious. Ask my mates at school.
But there remains plenty to give thanks about, and I keep my spirits high, my soul at peace and my heart rejoicing because I know the Lord is with me(:
Monday, January 18, 2010
-10:02 PM
I am amazed, truly, truly amazed.
While my situation has not changed, and in fact, got a few times worse, I remain strong and rooted in the Lord.
I don’t know what the future holds, really. It is a huge uncertainty, and if anything happens there will be certain decisions I will have to make. I am very very tempted to make an unconventional decision, but we’ll deal with that IF the time comes.
But as far as possible, if I am able to, I will not choose one of two options, but one of three. That’s as much as I will say.
I thank God for the strength and resilience and clear-headedness He has given me. I do not tear. Not one drop. And it’s not a facade! It’s REAL.
And I know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)
(From 2nd Corinthians 4)
7But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed… 16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
-9:07 PM
I am very nearly at my wits’ end.
But I cling on knowing that God is with me.
I’ve been reading Psalms. It is such a blessing to read this word. It is full of people who weep, yet rejoice at the greatness of God. It speaks of God’s faithfulness. It speaks of God’s mercy. And it speaks of the God who prevails.
I praise the Lord.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
16Be joyful always; 17pray continually; 18give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
He’s Able
He's able, He's able, I know He's able; I know my Lord is able to carry me through.
He's able, He's able, I know He's able; I know my Lord is able to carry me through.
He healed the broken-hearted and set the captive free; He made the lame to walk again and caused the blind to see.
He's able, He's able, I know He's able; I know my Lord is able to carry me through.
God will make a way
God will make a way Where there seems to be no way He works in ways we cannot see He will make a way for me He will be my guide Hold me closely to His side With love and strength for each new day He will make a way, He will make a way Oh, God will make a way Where there seems to be no way He works in ways we cannot see He will make a way for me He will be my guide Hold me closely to His side With love and strength for each new day He will make a way, He will make a way By a roadway in the wilderness, He'll lead me And rivers in the desert will I see Heaven and Earth will fade but His Word will still remain And He will do something new today Oh, God will make a way Where there seems to be no way He works in ways we cannot see He will make a way for me He will be my guide Hold me closely to His side With love and strength for each new day He will make a way, He will make a way By a roadway in the wilderness, He'll lead me And rivers in the desert will I see Heaven and Earth will fade but His Word will still remain And He will do something new today Oh, God will make a way Where there seems to be no way He works in ways we cannot see He will make a way for me He will be my guide Hold me closely to His side With love and strength for each new day He will make a way, He will make a way With love and strength for each new day He will make a way, He will make a way
Sunday, January 17, 2010
-11:13 PM
I’m suffering from a bit of an information overload, but I’m very happy for __________. I really hope ____________ takes it seriously, because I am serious about helping. I have a heart for people, and I want to see lives changed for the glory of God. Lord, empower me.
-7:30 PM
Blessed Be Your Name In the land that is plentiful Where Your streams of abundance flow Blessed be Your name
Blessed Be Your name When I'm found in the desert place Though I walk through the wilderness Blessed Be Your name
Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise When the darkness closes in, Lord Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord Blessed be Your name Blessed be the name of the Lord Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be Your name When the sun's shining down on me When the world's 'all as it should be' Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name On the road marked with suffering Though there's pain in the offering Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise When the darkness closes in, Lord Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord Blessed be Your name Blessed be the name of the Lord Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be the name of the Lord Blessed be Your name Blessed be the name of the Lord Blessed be Your glorious name
You give and take away You give and take away My heart will choose to say Lord, blessed be Your name
-6:44 PM
I went back to my private blog, because this blog… Kinda limits the content of my posts a fair bit. Anyway, today I was reminded of the song Roman 16:19 says. It’s an old song, but I love the energy and the power in this simple, simple song.
I went on YouTube, but that’s because I’ve only heard the song once and forgot how it’s sung. It’s REALLY hard to go on YouTube and be steadfast enough to scram the moment the song stops playing.
ROMANS 16:19 SAYS!
Romans 16:19 says! Romans 16:19 says! [2x] Be excellent in what is good Be innocent of evil Be excellent in what is good Be innocent of evil [Chorus:] And the God of Peace will soon crush Satan God will crush him underneath your feet! And the God of Peace will soon crush Satan God will crush him underneath your feet! Be excellent in what is good Be innocent of evil Be excellent in what is good Be innocent of evil [chorus 2x] Romans 16:19 says!
If you’ve been reading my blog, you’ll definitely have guessed by now that I’m going through a tough time. I’m sorry I am unable to reveal any details, but anyway, do keep me in prayer. Do not, however, try to comfort me or something (: Haha, the joy of the Lord is my strength. There is nothing I need less than to wallow in self-pity. This is not the time. It is not a time of sinking into depression or passively thinking about things. Now is the time to advance. To arise. To intercede and war like there is no tomorrow.
I’ve learnt a very interesting lesson through yesterday’s experience. It is not difficult to tell when you are doing something right. Because the moment you do it, not too long later something shocking happens. And then you realise that what you did before SCARED the devil. So much he had to try scaring you back!
AHAHA anyway too bad doesn’t work. I am going strong. I trust in the Lord and know I have been called as a Gideon (mentioned in earlier posts). Incidentally Sis Gwen preached from Judges 6 today- the passage that spoke to me during TAWG in IGNORMOUS Camp!
I’m gonna spend some TAWG now and go do my work. Praying hard that I won’t get distracted but I’ll do much today!
P.S. There’s one more thing I want to thank God for! I went to church this morning feeling REALLY unhappy and gloomy. I got there really early la, because I felt like it. And I met this girl Zoey who got there even earlier than I did. She’s this spunky, talkative, joyful Sec 1 girl who’s EXTREMELY EXTREMELY cute! Haha, I had a lot of fun talking to her and have been truly blessed, simply by enjoying her company for that 1.5h.
Friday, January 15, 2010
-12:26 AM
Just got back from a relatively disappointing concert D: Waste time lahh, could be better spent. I did some pretty weird things today, things I never expected I would do. Not a bad thing really, just… Weird. But well I guess some people can and should be trusted.
I’m vetting TIES and putting together booking book documents and emailing the supplier now. Hope I don’t take too long- I’m dead tired. I’m meeting Miss Ong tomorrow regarding Comms stuff, so I’d better get my stuff sorted out too! Like, questions to ask her, issues to deal with, individual project discussions…
I haven’t read the word in a while, though I’ve had times of worship and prayer through the course of the week. In just the blink of an eye, 2 weeks of school are almost over. No wonder 4 weeks in Taiwan seemed so short! The reality is- it WAS short.
I actually still miss Taiwan a whole lot. I don’t know why, but somehow the freedom I had there has given me such an emotional attachment to the place. Yeah sure the people I spent the 28 days with were AMAZING, but at least I can still meet them now. I can’t meet the place anymore D: (oh, on a side note, I’m so pleased I took away the bubble tea shop huishangying’s pocket menu! :D)
Well, I should get back to work and then SLEEP. I want to sleep. I cannot waste time. I must keep to my fast. It’s half a week already! HAHA, big deal. Nahh with God’s strength I’m sure I can last till the end of the year(:
Bye! <3!
Monday, January 11, 2010
-9:12 PM
WOW I’m bad at this. I broke fast by accident already- ON THE FIRST DAY T______T
I was checking my gmail as usual, and I opened up a notification email from FB as usual, and clicked the link as usual, and THERE YOU HAVE IT I LANDED UP ON FB WITHOUT KNOWING.
I must be more careful in future! The net has been such an integral part of life that consciously not using it is no longer enough. Things that are more “subconscious”, like clicking a link in an email, can still land me on FB XD
Anyway, today’s been pretty good and productive, I guess. I’m packing my table right now. I just had my fruit, and was watching a TV show on channel U at the same time. Basically in the show, they feature a family who’s been through a crisis (in this episode it’s a man with 5 children who lost his wife). So what Quan Yifeng and the other host did is that they cleaned up their house, served them, bought them some things, and gave them a surprise. I only caught a bit of the episode, so the man was talking about how difficult it was to carry on, how he contemplated suicide and everything. So after all the sharing and cleaning up, Quan Yifeng and the other host sat down with him and his family and gave the kids gifts (bags, shoes) and mentioned that no one in the family knew what the youngest kid’s shoe sizes were. Then Quan Yifeng continued to say that as a family they should pay more attention to one another and express their affection in more tangible ways other than, in the case of the father, just working hard everyday to earn money for the family. Then was this touching part where the hosts ask the man, “Do you love your children” and he said yes. Then they asked if he had ever said it before, and he said no. So they asked the children if they would like to hear it and they were nodding vigourously. So the guy mustered up all his couraged and said it and hugged all his kids. It was so sweet! :D And then they also organised dinner for the whole family. They haven’t eaten together for THREE YEARS! D: I was so “awww”-ed out throughout the 10-15min I was watching!
Oh well, reinforces the fact that I AM blessed! :D
I shall go bathe now and hopefully manage to clear my table and do everything by the end of today :D :D :D (before the clock strikes 12 D:)
Sunday, January 10, 2010
-7:53 PM
I am so blessed, so blessed.
You know what? I realise now that I have been an ungrateful freak. Seriously. I was just sitting here at my comp, thinking about things and suddenly it struck me that I am so blessed. And in spite of that, I choose to focus on what I am not blessed with rather than the many many things that God has blessed me with!
And one of the things that I thank God so much for are my friends. In the past I used to think I just wasn’t the cool kind, and if I didn’t stick around popular people I wouldn’t have good friends. Another thing I always thought was that I didn’t need my friends. But I think in these past few years I’ve been in IGNYTE, in RG, I’ve learnt that that’s far from the truth.
And today is one of those days I arrive at this conclusion, once again. For the 3 awesome friends who blessed me today, thank you. I know it was weird to do what I did all of a sudden there, but honestly, when I saw the SMS I was so scared I didn’t know what to do but to just talk, since you guys were around (compared to when I’m all alone). Thank you for praying for me and blessing me with your uplifting words of encouragement. Thank you for all the concern you showered on me. I truly felt the love of God through you guys today(:
And there are so many other things to thank God for too! I realise that while triumph is truly “still on it’s way”, there are other reasons to smile during the storm. And that in all things, there is that unspeakable joy that is within me, that sustains me, that brings me through.
And so here we have it (though I haven’t actively thought about it!), my 2010 focus points!
(On a side note, today’s sermon/service was hugely relevant to my situation. My anthem of the season (Counting on God) was sung, and somehow so many songs, verses spoke to me. And that’s why you see so much of that stuff here!)
Keywords: Thanksgiving, “greaterness”, active faith, molding, trial (interestingly, these 2 were prophetic; they came from someone who doesn’t know me very well, if I don’t remember wrongly.)
People (from the Bible I mean): Gideon
Verse: This one’s interesting. I learnt this Psalm by heart in 2005, as an “assignment” from my dad. Back then, it was but a "cool thing” I could do to impress people, and honestly I didn’t understand it much. 5 years have passed, and this Psalm remains in my heart, just as clearly as it did then. And I am so glad I learnt this Psalm, because it never fails to speak to me.
Psalms 91
1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. [a]
2 I will say [b] of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.
9 If you make the Most High your dwelling— even the LORD, who is my refuge-
10 then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."
Song:Desert song
VERSE 1: This is my prayer in the desert When all that's within me feels dry This is my prayer in my hunger and need My God is the God who provides VERSE 2: This is my prayer in the fire In weakness or trial or pain There is a faith proved Of more worth than gold So refine me Lord through the flame CHORUS: I will bring praise I will bring praise No weapon formed against me shall remain I will rejoice I will declare God is my victory and He is here VERSE 3: This is my prayer in the battle When triumph is still on it's way I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ So firm on His promise I'll stand CHORUS: I will bring praise I will bring praise No weapon formed against me shall remain I will rejoice I will declare God is my victory and He is here BRIDGE: All of my life In every season You are still God I have a reason to sing I have a reason to worship (x4) CHORUS: I will bring praise I will bring praise No weapon formed against me shall remain I will rejoice I will declare God is my victory and He is here (x2) VERSE 4: This is my prayer in the harvest When favour and providence flow I know I'm filled to be emptied again The seed I've received I will sow
So there :D AWESOMEE! I was going start on Isaiah, but I suddenly decided to start on Psalms instead. Hmm… Yeah I think that’s good. I’m gonna go into a time of worship now, and then spend some time praying and seeking God, and then pack my room and read the chinese papers and sing and go to bed :D I’ve stopped my one-meal fast due to concerns from my mum, and so I’m gonna start on my INTERNET FAST tomorrow! Which means no internet, except for INET, email, blogger, and MSN. And any stuff I know I actually need for work (my conscience will have to exercise some discretion here!) Oh, but I’m going to do this till the end of the year! As in, 31st December D: So I shall have a break every Sunday communion! :D
Yeahh. Please don’t tempt me to break fast. That’s one of the most painful and regretable things for me to do! (Though I can already start to imagine how absolutely difficult it will be to PLAY online once a month even when all the exams are over!)
Thursday, January 7, 2010
-9:00 PM
I’m pretty flustered now, after a string of events that happened today. I was quite stressed in the afternoon, because of some technical problems and all that we had for some PB stuff. Now it’s been solved, kinda, but because of this someone else is now stressed. I’m worried la, because I’m very very worried that this person will get too stressed and burnt out and all. And tired.
But something pretty amazing just happened. I sat down and I thought, “My world is crashing down”. (Sounds so serious right! D:) And then SUDDENLY the song that goes “Into your hands, I commit again, with all I am, for you Lord. You hold my world in the palm of you hand…” It is literally impossible for my world to crash down!
Anyway, I’ve really got to pray hard and press on and know that God is able.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
-12:22 AM
Okay, so I’m gonna try to keep this active, despite the fact that it’s 12.15am now. First day of school today. Okay la, not too bad. Everything seems to be just… Normal.
Yeah, everything. I’m pretty excited for some stuff though; I hope it actually happens. We’ll see how it goes.
Oh, and I’m on an indefinitely long one-meal fast. No, I’m not doing it until something happens. I’m doing it “permanently”. Okay knowing me, this isn’t exactly viable. I’m going to switch to an internet fast somewhere along the line, but I need a while to get used to the idea that I might not be going on FB/youtube/read conan for 9 months or so. So yeah. I’m fasting from food for now. I’ve gotta remember to pray though. Oftentimes it IS pretty easy to get more caught up in not eating than praying itself! For me, at least.
And I’ve gotta keep up my TAWGs. Can’t lag again.
There’s still PB work to do. And Taiwan work too. Gotta clear it before the homework comes streaming in. No, not streaming. FLYING in.
Haha okay that’s all for today. Buhbye(:
Sunday, January 3, 2010
-6:07 PM
It's high time for me to arise and advance again, after such a long "hiatus". So yeah, I'm back. Blogging has done me much good in the past and I thought it might be a good idea for me to pick it up again, amidst my hectic schedule next year.
I had a very good worship today at home. I really needed it. 2010 will not be an easy year and this was a good recharging point. I really thank God for the assurance He has given me through this time. Indeed, the joy of the Lord is my strength!
Counting on God I'm in a fight not physical And I'm in a war But not with this world You are the light that's beautiful And I want more I want all that's Yours
Joy unspeakable that won't go away And just enough strength To live for today So I never have to worry What tomorrow will bring 'Cause my faith is on solid rock I am counting on God
I am counting on I am counting on God
The miracle of Christ in me Is the mystery that sets me free I'm nothing like I used to be Open up your eyes you'll see
Empower Me Nobody knows how weak I am Better than You Nobody sees all of my needs Better than You And nobody has the power to change me From what I was meant to be Jesus be strong in my weakness Empower Me
Empower Me Like a rushing river flowing through the sea Lord send Your Holy Spirit flowing down through me Till I'm living as Your child Victorious and free Send the power of Your love Empower Me
There's lots of work awaiting me, but just a short one on what I learnt today. During worship I sang many praise songs exalting the name of the Lord, songs like Be Glorified, etc. And it is so important to thank God, in spite of all the circumstances that come along.
I'm pretty excited for the coming year. There are battles to be won and I pray this year will be a year of breakthrough, not only in my walk with God, but also beyond. School's starting- I have to cling onto God and not "lose touch" with Him along the way!
