testimonies
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
-11:18 PM
Haven’t blogged for some time. Things have gotten, well, considerably worse, yet I feel considerably better. Haven’t cried in a while. Hmm…
Anyway, have been considering letting my friends in school know what’s going on. They’ve been really nice about everything!
I am in the process of evaluating my time managament strategies. I SHALL IMPROVE. YES. I SHALL SLEEP AT 9PM EVERYDAY, HAVING DONE ALL MY WORK AND GO TO BED 无忧无虑! So pleasant right? :D
Speaking of sleep, today was a huge fiasco. I was intending to wake at 4am to do some RS and English FA and Philo argument map, so I cleverly set my phone alarm. That worked; it was pretty aggressive. Unfortunately it was within arms length so it’s like *Grab* and *Jab SNOOZE*. It rang again in 5 min so I got fed up, turned it off, went back to sleep, and woke up at 6am instead. So there you have it. 2 hours less to slog, sleep lost. RAWR. I ended up dozing off during chinese as a result. I tried to listen okay! I even tried doing the tested-and-proven eye massage. Didn’t work la D: It’s a lot easier to doze off when you’re disengaged, and by that I mean, not talking. XD It’s so hard to fall asleep during SS even on a sleepy day. And though the morning was really a blur, philo (which was 1st block) wasn’t too bad…
RAWR LAURA. Do English FA now.
On a side note, in case I haven’t mentioned before, my internet fast is failing quite badly. I kept the deal for YouTube though. But this is a bit like the True Love Waits thing about compromise. Bit by bit you say, “Aiya okay la can la” then after a while everything becomes “Aiya okay la can la”. I haven’t written my commitment yet but I’m been thinking about it and have some idea. Trouble is, it’s pretty tough and I’m a bit worried. Ugh, I of little faith. *Scurries to private blog to post commitment before scurrying to do english FA*
Thursday, February 18, 2010
-8:40 PM
Standstill. Things are too still. It’s more comfortable this way, but it’s bad. Too much can happen because of this stillness. Yet it’s so hard to step out off.
Haha, funny y’know. I’ve been talking in codes for more than a month already, I think.
I need to catch up with my work. AND I’M MEETING MISS ONG TMR! Need to come up with an agenda ASAP. A good one that will keep us talking about constructive things.
Monday, February 15, 2010
-10:13 PM
One day of paradise. I’m really glad to have this one day, yet I fear for days to come. But thank God for this one day of paradise! It was truly the fulfillment of my prayers. No, to be more precise, it was a lot more than I had asked for :D
I’m excited for tomorrow. Very excited, actually, for more than one reason. But there remains so much work untouched, so much stuff undone (and so much TAWG un-spent for that matter XD) Oh well gotta bite the bullet and just go! Ugh, PB work is an endless stream that nags at me at the back of my head. That’s kind of irritating, but necessary I guess!
I’ve been singing this song a lot lately (I even recorded it in case I get too dreary to play the guitar XD) and I love it!
Praise You in This Storm
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms
I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
And as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I really love Casting Crowns. Their songs are just so real.
Oh, and on a side note, I’ve been failing miserably with my fasting this CNY holiday. I think it’s because I’m looking for a worthy distraction to all this… mess. Bleh.
God He reigns
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
-10:30 PM
I’m at a loss. Completely.
It’s kind of strange though. I’m like completely in denial. But the thing is, the whole situation is so absurb, how on earth can you expect me to believe it? My behaviour is absurb too, actually. I’m like, “Orhh, okay”. Haha. With some anger in there, I believe. And a whole bunch of denial. But I’m not upset (or so I think) and that’s just plain weird.
And the strange this is that things still seem normal on one hand. Haha it’s so hard to speak in codes sometimes I end up not saying anything that’s comprehensible XD
I have no idea what to do. And everyone whom I’ve told before sometime or another seems busy to me. As in, obviously to listen to me yabber about unpleasant things is uncomfortable… Not that they’ve told me so or I’ve tried to talk to them about my stuff lately but I just feel so bad bothering people. Sis Yinting is like, so busy la! Unless I’m totally desperate I wouldn’t want to trouble her D: Though she always says, “Don’t worry about bothering me”. The rest of them also tell me that and stuff like, “No don’t worry about it I really don’t mind listening” blahblah but I still feel bad to tell them anything! D: Haha, or maybe feeling bad is just an excuse on my part.
Hahaha the strange thing is that I was talking about the lofty ideas? If everything really happens, those aren’t going to be lofty ideas anymore. I’m going to try my best to make them real. They aren’t dreams; to me, they are solutions.
Then again, we’ll see how it goes. It’s hard to cling onto God, but I’ll try. No, I will.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
-9:41 PM
Wah I seriously need to buck up as an SP. While researching for my QT materials I remembered that I wrote some stuff about prayer to the Allstars in one of my emails. That was when I was still a PSP.
Honestly speaking, the emails were very lohsoh la. But charged with passion man.
Hi ALLSTARS!
This email will be the first of many emails you will be receiving from me! I hope that these emails will encourage you to GROW in your walk with God((:
Since this is the first email, I shall write about what God has done for me! Why? Because when I was Sec 1, I was very encouraged when I found out about how God grew my Sec 2 senior so much when she was Sec 1, to what she had become in Sec 2. It struck me that if God could do it for her, He could do it for me. From then I became very intentional in wanting to grow.
Before I entered IGNYTE ministry, I was REALLY vulgar and enjoyed gossiping about people. I went after positions of power, good grades, and popularity. But even when I had these things, I felt an emptiness within me, like there was something I needed. So I continued to 'hunger after' those things, which made me feel more and more that there was something else I needed. Sometimes at church when I saw people engage in worship, I would act-cool but secretly admire these people for their love and passion for God. And I guess this is what led me to discover that what I needed was God.
But it was only when I entered into IGNYTE ministry that my hunger for God increased and I started to change the way I lived. New beginnings and camp gave me a kick-start in my 'new-found' relationship. Regular services and FUEL helped to recharge me each week. But looking back, it was daily Time Alone With God (TAWG) that really helped me. What I mean by 'TAWG' here, in your present situations, is effort. It means being intentional. I remember how difficult it was for me to kick-in the habit of spending TAWG. After 2 weeks I felt I couldn't continue any more, but at that time God sent me seniors who came to tell me "Spend your TAWG, it's really important to grow in God." And together with a close IGNYTE friend, that's how I started spending my TAWG.
The effort you need to put in may mean to spend regular TAWG. Even if you do spend TAWG, have an active prayer life and all, I'm sure there are areas in your life God wants you to work on? Don't just take it as it comes. Be intentional! Make an effort to grow.
I've grown so much in the year of 2007, and I'm looking forward to more in this new year of 2008!
And just to ENCOURAGE (: all of you, here are the lyrics of a song that speaks my heart!
What He's Done
What He's done for me
Is so amazing
The love He has for me
I cannot explain
All I know is I once was lost but now am found
I was blind but now I see
And I know He can do for you
What He's done for me
I am confident that when you hunger after God, when you seek God, when you pursue God, GOD WILL NOT SHORTCHANGE YOU. GOD WILL NEVER DISAPPOINT YOU.
In an ending note, I really really want to encourage all of you ALLSTARS, in January 2008, to set your goals for this year, especially your spiritual goals, because they are going to shape and affect your priorities in life. What ever these goals may be, I suggest you paste it/write it some where you will see everyday. And every day when you see these goals, remember them and work towards them.
Be intentional, and shine for God!
Lots and lots of love (God's, and mine!)
Laura (:
[you can call me LOL]
Hello ALLSTARS!
I hope you look forward to this email! Take it as a mid-week reminder not to forget about God(:
I'm sure you've all been faithful in following the Bible reading plan, and praying for your friends in your Battle Plan, right? *grins*
Well... Not all is lost if you haven't, it's not too late to start! You only have 6 chapters in luke to catch up with((: Certainly good news for you!
Before I begin my 'message', I just want to thank you all for reading my previous email! Please continue to do so! It would also be great if you would like to reply some thoughts/reflections about the email to me! But that's totally optional. Any feedback/suggestions, possibly as to what I can email all of you about, are also welcomed.
Anyway, this email will be based on the verse from Jeremiah 29:13. God says "You will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart". I'll be sharing about what this means, how it applies to us, as well as some personal experiences.
Back to Jer 29:13. When I first heard of this verse, I was like "DUH!" When you search for God with all your heart, you will obviously seek God! But now, what I feel this verse really means is that when we come to a point of desperation for God, He will honour that desperation with a greater hunger for Him, and He will honour that hunger by revealing (more of) Himself to us.
That might sound a bit complicated, so it might help if I showed a Biblical example?
If you remember, we read luke 5:27-32 a few days ago. It was about Levi the tax collector (who were notorious for swindling $$ at that time.) But the moment Jesus called him, he left everything and followed Jesus. That's how hungry he was to repent and change his way of life! I think the word 'everything' here summarises too much. Do you know the magnitude of the word everything? Think of the EVERYTHING in your life. If Jesus came one day (and you knew it was him) and called you, would you be hungry enough to follow him? Think about it.
Honestly speaking, if Jesus really came one day, I might not be hungry enough to drop everything and just follow him. I mean, I guess I would, but it's hard to say. I've struggled (still do sometimes) with keeping my hunger and passion for God going 24/7, year round. Sometimes TAWG becomes so much of a routine, it becomes a chore. I guess with our sinful human nature, it's difficult to continuously have so much zeal for God. I've been getting dry spell after dry spell recently, especially if I miss services or TAWG. I notice that trend in myself, so I really try as much as possible not to! Though my passion might not keep on burning (kerosene can run out okay!), putting in effort to keep it going helps! And the time we spend with God renews us and keeps us going! I testify to that(: So don't be discouraged if sometimes you feel distant or indifferent (bo chap) about God. Press on, don't let go!
Or what if you don't know how a touch of God feels like? I can't describe it in words, just know it's indescribably awesome. Even if you don't think you FEEL God or love God or something, maybe you could try thinking of all the things you have, family and friends, nature, all your blessings and gifts, and think of God, your creator, from whom these things come from. Keep giving thanks to God, and pray for hunger! If you don't know how to pray, ask God (you can ask me too..)! (:
Keep on praying and reading the Word!
<3 LOL ! :D
P.S. I love you! (Invite your friends, yea!)
P.P.S. Thanks goes to Bro Zhi Hao for highlighting keywords for us!
Hi ALLSTARS!
I'm sure all of you enjoyed Friday's event! It's awesome seeing IGNYTErs bringing in nearly 200 FTVs that night! Great job! :D
Continue to bring your friends for services/events and to pray and believe in their salvation, yea?
Yes, pray. I know this is something that some of us struggle with! But as I've been saying to those who've prayed with me, what counts is what comes from the heart. Of course, the use of verses, appropriate vocabulary etc is good to have, but I don't think that's the most important. One can blabber non-stop, using the most impressive vocabulary and the most appropriate and exhaustive list of things to pray about. But if the person doesn't mean it, if the people isn't sincere about it, it's just as good as nothing! I admit sometimes, especially if there's something I NEED to pray about, I blabber. It's like, I know HOW I should be praying, and I say everything out. And at the end of it I realise that I don't know what I've prayed for. It's sad! I know that's also one of the things I really need to work on this year, to mean everything that I pray.
You may ask, "Why is it so important to mean what I pray?" The thing is, God already knows what our needs are. When we pray, we are humbling ourselves to ask for it, which is what God wants! Just like even if your mum knows you need something, she might not get it right away! Sometimes, she waits for you to ask, right? ((:
2 Chronicles 7:14. "if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."
Remember that!
Now, I'd like to share an amazing testimony to all of you. This incident happened last year, around November, but it's only now that I see God's hand in it. I thank God that He has shown me that this is a powerful testimony of how prayer can work wonders, not just a mere coincidence as I dismissed it to be at the time when it happened.
I was blogsurfing one day when I chanced upon the blog of a girl my age called *Janice. Everything about her profile seemed fine, and she was even in the same class as one of my IGNYTE friends. I went to the 'posts' section and I was shocked to see so much hurt reflected in her first post, which was about being bullied. Even though I didn't know her, I could feel for her through what she had written. My heart went out to her and I thought, "She must come to experience the love of God that will heal her from all that hurt!"
Initially I wanted to tell my friend to bring Janice to church, but I didn't because I didn't know that friend well. So all I could do was to pray for her. I prayed hard that God would reveal Himself to her and that somehow or other she will come to experience His love.
Some time passed, and I forgot about the incident. That was until I saw my friend bring along a girl to church. I was thinking,"Great, an FTV!" but deep inside I thought, "Could that be Janice?"
And as I found out later, it certainly was.
I was totally totally amazed. I mean, I prayed for someone whose profile I had only seen online, and she didn't even know me. But by God's AWESOME power, she came to know Him!
Not only that. She began to regularly attend services and I eventually befriended her. And guess what? Less than 6 months from the start of this series of events, Janice rededicated her life to the Lord. God is good, amen?
As I recounted this to Janice and later, that IGNYTE friend, I asked, "Why did you decide to bring JANICE to church, out of so many people?" The response I received was, "You know what? She asked me to."
Why is God so awesome!!! :D
*Janice is a pseudonym.
I hope this testimony has shown you that prayer IS powerful and effective!
God bless all of you mighty prayer warriors! :D
<3 LOL
Hello ALLSTARS!
I hope all of you are enjoying your new school term? Well, do make sure that in spite of all your busyness, you still leave some time for God, eh? (:
As we move into Term 2, I guess some of you might still have the results from your previous term at the back of your mind.
Maybe they were good. Or maybe they were not as good as you'd expect them to be. But you know what? The Bible says to give thanks at all times (Psalms 119:62-even at midnight!) and in all circumstances (Ephesians 5:20).
I know it sounds difficult, especially when we're in the pits! But I've learnt that even when we're in such times, God still remembers us, carries our problems, gives us peace; He is always worthy of all our praise!
Listen to this song and think about the lyrics.
What does this tell us?
Forever- Chris Tomlin
Click HERE to listen
Click HERE for lyrics
To me, this song is about God's faithfulness in all things, and I think that alone is enough reason to give thanks.
Sometimes I really wonder what I would be doing, how I would be living if not for His faithfulness. I've had my lows, and I'll share one of them with you.
This happened mostly when I was in P3. Although it still happens sometimes, but the situation has improved greatly and I really thank God for it.
<Section cut out>
God's faithfulness is far from being the only reason to give thanks, but I thought that it might be easier to view the concept of thanksgiving when you can understand what you give thanks for!
Actually, I think thanksgiving is, in part, an 'obligation'. In the Lord's prayer, the first thing Jesus says (after Our Father in Heaven) is hallowed be thy name. In other words, Jesus' priority was not just to pile up his trolley with the items on His shopping list to God. He first gave thanks.
And sometimes giving thanks isn't so easy! Like in Luke 22:17, Jesus gave thanks for the bread and the cup, the very symbols representing His death. It's just like knowing that you're going to be killed tomorrow with a sword and a hammer and you give thanks for those things.
I'm using Jesus' stories because, as you'd know if you read your Bible (I'm sure you do! ;D), that Jesus always gave thanks!
And so should you! ;D
<3 LOL
Sorta embarrassing to read stuff I wrote in Sec 2. It’s very blatant. But it had that heart la. And I really hope to write something that will truly truly impact my GB mates for QT. My topic is “Pray Continually”.
-9:12 PM
You have been good
You have been good
You have been good
And I am in wonder how it can be
You have been good
You’ve been so good
In so many ways you’ve been good to me
I was made to praise you
I was made to praise You
I was made to glorify Your name
In every circumstance
To find a chance to thank You
I was made to love You
I was made to worship at Your feet
And to obey You, Lord
I was made for You
I will always praise You
I will always glorify Your name
In every circumstance
I'll find a chance to thank You
I will always love You
I will always worship at Your feet
And I'll obey You, Lord
I was made for You
Give thanks
Give thanks with a grateful heart
Give thanks to the Holy One
Give thanks because He's given
Jesus Christ His Son.
And now let the weak say "I am strong."
Let the poor say "I am rich."
Because of what the Lord has done for us
Give thanks
Admittedly, it’s been really tough la. In a sense the situation has now been compounded because I have:
1. Tons of homework, PB work, GB work, RS stuff, and leftover Taiwan work
2. Little time but little focus
3. Been finding it hard to spend TAWG and all
In a sense it’s good the stress hasn’t quite got to me. Of course it’s bad too. But I’ve learnt a lot this past month, way way more than I’ve learnt before. I’ve learnt to find joy, to give thanks in all circumstances. Just like it says in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18! (Speaking of which, I don’t see what’s so great about the song I wrote. I think it’s quite bland XD Don’t get why everyone seems to like it. Haha to be fair to myself, I wrote it in like, 10 min, and the verse has no meter to it! Okay but honestly la, even though I don’t really like it I’m still secretly happy about all the praise/attention it’s been receiving, though it’s dead hard not boasting/claiming credit since most don’t know who wrote it. Humility humility humility. Besides, ya la it’s not that great D:)
Tomorrow’s an exciting and slack day, everyone say yay :D Chem History Math, PE and CLE! :D Okay we have PB GM too, hopefully I don’t get scolded or something. GMs scare me. CLE is pretty exciting, hopefully. For one, we have awesome teachers. And it’s slack. And it’s pretty thought-provoking if you take it seriously, since we’re doing “success” this term. And PE is just awesome man :D
I should spend some time with God and do my homework. Hmm I shall write the QT materials for GB camp now :D
Monday, February 8, 2010
-10:40 PM
HAHA strange. I’ve been talking about lofty ideas with friends 2 days in a row. Hmm…
Well things have been… Interesting. I can’t tell if it’s improving or getting worse. Can be either. Gotta press on pray hard. I’m dying under my homework honestly speaking. So much to do so little time!
GOTTA SPEND TAWG HAVEN’T BEEN SPENDING GOOD QUALITY TAWG IN SOME TIME.
URGH. WHY’S THERE SO MUCH TO DO DO.
Okay stop complaining get to work ><
Thursday, February 4, 2010
-8:36 PM
There’s been a considerable amount of action going on lately. It’s pretty daunting, honestly! For better for worse I really don’t know. It started off promising but now it seems things have gotten worse. Ohwell, gotta trust God and cling onto His promises.
Okay anyway, I do owe Lidan a little something XD She asked me what’s my purpose in life, so I said I would blog it. I don’t know why I can’t say it la; I’m quite shy, I guess. Really. I don’t think I’m ashamed of the gospel or of God in any way, but I am very shy sometimes D: Or maybe it’s just excuses. Hmm, something to think about.
My purpose is basically to seek serve and follow Christ (which is the GB mission too!), and to fulfil my God-given destiny. As in, I don’t buy into all these things about material success or power or even happiness. Haha, and by the way, I believe in joy, not happiness(: Happiness is conditional; joy doesn’t care about what happens- it remains in spite of the most dire of circumstances. Haha and joy is, in many ways, a choice! :D As for all the material stuff, if they come, they come. I’m not being impractical or unrealistic or having lofty ideas. I know how important money is. That doesn’t actually mean I care so much.
And to address the “fulfilling my God-given destiny” part, to be honest I don’t know what it is. I have an idea, but it’s still pretty hazy. In terms of jobs and all, especially. I am quite sure, though, that I do not have a full-time call. Haha, I thought having a full-time call was really cool, so I prayed about it for some time a couple of years back. And I usually know when God’s calling me to something (responding is another thing though!) Besides, we have altar calls for full-time call pretty often and I honestly don’t think I have one. Haha(: So yup, chances are, I will take on a secular job.
All this talk arose from the CLE lesson “What is success?” which was really pretty thought-provoking. We’ll be doing more of this in the weeks to come, so yeah, something to look forward to I guess :D
I need to spend some time with God! Lay down all my burdens and baggage :D And just spend some time in awe at the greatness of God.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
-8:03 PM
URGH. Do you know how long I took to stop missing Taiwan so much? With Mingdao’s visit today, I’m back at square one. GRAWR. Eh seriously leh!
The wushu guy from Mingdao came today! I presented something and played keys. Both weren’t very successful D: But we had fun, and talking to our buddies made me reminisce our wonderful Taiwan times. I WISH I BLOGGED DURING THAT MONTH. Oh well XD
ENOUGH OF TAIWAN. I shall try to go back to the harsh realities of life.
Now’s not time to be complacent. Things are improving, very VERY slightly. I THINK. I HOPE.
I’ve gotta continue interceding la.
